At some point or another, we have all muttered the words “I’m going to lose weight”, usually followed by starting a fad diet that claims you’ll lose 2 stone in 10 days (but at what cost to your health?!)
I have also been guilty of muttering those famous words and have tried most fad diets out there. Usually though, I cave after a few days and binge on some chocolate and end up weighing even more than I did before.
A few months ago, I had my baby girl. She has changed my world forever. I’ve piled a few extra pounds on since having her, mostly due to stuffing my face when I wake up ravenous during the night feeds. However, I didn’t think much of it as I knew I’d try to lose the extra pounds eventually.
Im 5ft 10 and used to be a size 10, but here I am now a size 16/18. I don’t look massively big, but enough for me to want to lose some weight and look healthy again.
I haven’t been well mentally since having my baby, struggling with post natal depression and anxiety.. So was started on medications as well as contraception that all cause weight gain as a side effect (although let’s face it, stuffing my face with chocolate plays a big part in my weight struggles). So really, my mental health had to take priority.. The will to lose weight took a seat on the back burner..
On Friday I went out for a few drinks with friends. I hadn’t been on a night out since 2015 and hadn’t had a single drink since then (God knows how, cause quite frankly some days I could be doing with a few glasses.. Okay, bottles).. Anyway, back to my point.. I spent ages putting on makeup, doing my hair and picking out a suitable outfit.. Something that you can’t do often when you’ve got a mini puking and pooping machine in your care 24/7.
I honestly felt quite good about myself after my mini-makeover. I felt human again. My self confidence finally picking itself back up off the floor.
So away I went, ready to enjoy my night. After 2 drinks in one pub, we decided to walk half a mile down the road to another club that we knew would be busier. It all went down hill from here..
On leaving the first club we bumped into a group of men, also on a night out. But instead of kind exchanges and going on their way, I was met with abuse.
They followed us the whole way, making comment about “the girl with the red hair” (I.e me)
“look at that whale!!!”
“her arse is so huge it could cause an eclipse”
“eurgh look at her thinking shes pretty.. Ugly dog”
The list went on. And on. And on.
Then they started kicking cans and objects at me, to ensure I got their message.
I don’t usually find myself offended by comments, but I can honestly say I went home and sobbed.. And sobbed.. And sobbed.
Amd that is the reason now I’m going to lose weight.
But there is one thing I want to say.. Please, before making comments to strangers (or even people you know), remember that you don’t know what they’re going through. I managed to hold myself strong, but I know others who wouldn’t.
Although there will be no fad diets this time, I just want to be able to lose weight and feel healthier. And hopefully avoid any more ridicule.
But in future, I think I’ll happily just sit on my fat whale arse, eat chocolate and know that there’s nobody judging me apart from my dog- who’s only judging me because I wont give her some!